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    But saying that, if I did unexpectedly find The One then I may have to consider something different.

    Invalidating feelings relationship

    While certainly one can feel conflicted over those things, the focus of the analysts was far too narrow.

    Experiential therapists like Fritz Perls and Carl Rogers felt that a far more basic conflict was between one’s need to express one’s true nature () and doing what was expected by everyone else.

    On first listening, it sounded like the mother was expressing appropriate concern about the daughter’s cutting. I later learned that the conversation I listened to was essentially a rerun.One disqualifies oneself when one is afraid to say what one really feels or means for fear that others will reject it.Hence disqualifiers say things in a way that allows them “plausible deniability.” They can claim they were misinterpreted if another important family members objects. The answer has to do with something that the psychoanalysts, who got a lot of things wrong, got right.They accomplish this through wide range of deviant communicational phenomena “…such as self-contradictions, inconsistencies, subject switches, tangentializations, incomplete sentences, misunderstandings, obscure style or mannerisms of speech, the literal interpretation of metaphor and the metaphorical interpretation of literal remarks, etc." (p. They thought problematic behavior resulted from an unresolved conflict within the individual between two opposite courses of action.Now the analysts assumed that the conflict was between biological impulses like sex and aggression and a person's internalized value system, otherwise known as his or her conscience.

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