For example, suddenly Grandpa wants you to sit on his lap more often.Or, an uncle wants to caress a child’s hair or cheek more often.Children often have a good sense that something is “wrong,” but they may not tell anyone about these sexual experiences.Children learn rather quickly that the sexual activity with a family member is not normal.Since sexual abuse carries such a high degree of shame, it’s highly likely that clients will not mention it.
Children also come to realize that telling someone puts the family in terrible jeopardy. A great deal is at stake, and no child wants the responsibility of causing a crisis in the family.Parents can also tell a child that if they are afraid to tell a family member that they can tell another adult whom the child trusts such as a teacher, minister, etc.(And no jokes, pleaseâ€”yes these two groups have a history of being sexual predators, but there are still good teachers and religious leaders who can help a child in need.) Q.Offenders are often looking for comfort, closeness and approval from someone whom, in the mind of the offender, offers an opportunity for unconditional love.The closeness and need for comfort can rapidly become sexualized.