"If I just put my head under water and take a deep breath in, it would all be over," she wrote in her tell-all, recalling a suicidal moment she had in the bathtub. "I wanted to share my story to inspire other women who might be in a bad relationship to get out, or not be branded by bad decisions they've made, and take charge of their lives and move on. "Holly, you can tell, had this ulterior motive every minute being at the Mansion, and that motive was – it was clear as day – she wanted Hef's kids, she wanted a piece of at the time. "She wasn't in fear with that d**k in her a** for a paycheck," Wilkinson tweeted."Drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading." Madison also claimed that Hefner tried to bribe her from moving out of the Mansion by writing her into his will as one last desperate tactic to save their relationship. "The will stated that ,000,000 would be bestowed to Holly Madison at the time of his death (provided I still lived in the Mansion). "I want no part of a one-sided argument or feud where one woman lives to demoralize and degrade another woman," Madison responded in a statement to ET. You should try it.", we asked her what she would say to Hefner today if she could. "And I think it's interesting because people will ask me all the time, 'Do you still talk to him?At the time, it was more money than I'd ever know what to do with… ' Usually when people move on, they don't talk to all their exes.I just don't think it's appropriate." "Of course I have fond memories of my time there, but, you know, you move on.. "I would say my best memory of the time at the Mansion was shooting the TV show.They had lots of roller coaster ride in their relationship during their journey together.There had been a rumor of difficulties in their marital life.It was through these jobs that she received her first invitation to the mansion, where she met Hefner for the first time.2002: Madison reveals she'd love to marry Hefner The model, who quickly became Hef's "No.
We had fun doing that."September 2017: Hefner dies at age 91 Madison has yet to break her silence on his death. Not that she's in bad company on the celebrities with sex tapes; seems like all the most famous people in Hollywood are starring in celeb sex tapes anymore.The loves and relationships of Kendra Wilkinson, listed by most recent."They're practically living together," a source revealed exclusively to star loves cooking for her boyfriend, even though she's not the best in the kitchen.RELATED: 'Mean Girls' Actress Lacey Chabert Is Pregnant With Her First Baby!